My very first posting for this blog was about Family… how they can form us, steer us, instill drives and directions. For me it was ‘For the Love of Family’, my Italian family still living in Italy. Some unseen force propelling me to locate them and meet them. And if and when I found them, would they really consider me ‘family’?

My grandfather, Carlo De Felice, came over from Abruzzi (as it was called back in the early 1900’s – now Abruzzo since Molise split off in 1963) to live in Brooklyn with his father, mother and siblings. Did Carlo have any uncles, cousins, siblings who remained in Italy and could I find their descendants, my probable cousins? His town of origin, San Salvo is in southern Abruzzo, just 40 minutes from where John and I now live. Was it our plan to have purchased our home so close to my ancestral town? No, it just happened. How crazy is that?

There are a number of companies here in Italy that will help you locate your relatives. I used Touring Abruzzo and with the wonderful help of Luciana and Alberto, the De Felice tree was fleshed out all the way back to the early 1800s. And Alberto located a few of my cousins alive and well in San Salvo! The next step was a bit precarious and sensitive. How do I approach my living relatives in a manner that isn’t threatening and once I ‘prove’ I am related, will they be as interested in getting to know me as I am wishing to know them?

Touring Abruzzo was able to give me a contact name and number. This person would be one of my cousins (more like a fifth cousin). I wouldn’t say he was particularly warm to me just showing up to meet his grandfather, my third cousin who is in his late 80s. We hemmed and hawed back and forth and a meeting died in the wind. I didn’t know what to do next. Do I enlist an Italian friend to come with me to interpret? Just bang on Michele’s door and introduce myself?

What ensued was serendipitous and I truly believe I was pointed in the right direction at the right time. John and I decided to stroll past my cousin’s house in the historic district of San Salvo. Not sure what we would accomplish but we had a few minutes before we needed to be at an appointment with our insurance agent. We located Michele’s apartment and just sat across the way, trying to decide our next step. Two ladies approached the front door and knocked. While they were standing there, I mustered up some nerve and asked them if they knew Michele. They were his daughters! Unbelievable! I was looking at two of my cousins. A dream realized. I believed both Angela and Paola were equally as excited. Paola located her dad and we had a few wondrous minutes chatting away. Unfortunately our appointment pulled us away, but with promises to be reunited soon.

While I waited to hear back from my cousins, I worked on our family tree. I wanted to bring that, along with some of my family pictures, to our next meeting. I used all the information that Alberto collected along with Familysearch.org, Ancestry.com (and Ancestry.it) and antenati.san.beniculturali.it for my research. As the tree grew in unbelievable proportions, I cut and taped until I had both De Felice lines spread out to show Michele. I felt I had to substantiate my claim as a De Felice. Not that they asked to see this, but I just felt it was a reassuring measure for them to see the actual family connection.

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You may gather that I was excited when Angela set a date for coffee at her father’s house. It was a grand gathering of SIX of my cousins! How amazing is that! We talked about the family, compared pictures, saw strong family resemblances between our ancestors and enjoyed coffee and sweets. I sit here now with emotions choking me up and a huge smile on my face. There is so much more work I want to do on my family tree, but mostly I just want to enjoy being a part of my Italian family. We are all looking forward to being together over a meal or coffee again soon, both here in Roccaspinalveti as well as in San Salvo.

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I encourage anyone seeking their Italian relatives to not give up. I almost backed out of trying to reach out to them. Would they truly want to know me, to take the time even though my understanding of the Italian language is still somewhat basic? Why would a distant cousin, such as I, be important to them? We are family… we are blood… we are Italian together. It does make a difference, so don’t give up on your dream.

No, I haven’t forgotten my father’s side of that family. The information that I got from my mother, was that they were from Naples. That will be another story to share for the future…. ciao for now..