A tribe is a group of people, or a community with similar values or interests, a group with a common ancestor, or a common leader.

A clan is a group of people of common descent; family.

During this scorching, record-breaking, hot, dry summer, we simmered under our ceiling fans day and night. Any thoughts of writing a post for this blog were clouded by the mind-fogging weather. Finally we got a break with cooler Fall temperatures arriving. We are functioning again.

With the isolation from both the earlier COVID restrictions and just surviving this latest heat wave (of three months), I had plenty of time to reflect. What I came to realize is that I don’t like being cut off from humanity, even though I do enjoy my solitary walks. I’m sure most people felt the same about isolation. But now that we are able to go out and be with friends and family, I found that I was experiencing a huge disconnect with my Italian friends with my rusty language skills. That’s all changing now, as as I meet up with my Italian speaking friends, whether we’re out hiking or meeting at one of our local bars. But what is more important than learning the language is that I am feeling part of the human race once more!

During this summer, I continued my studies with Italy Made Easy Academy online lessons. Manu, the teaching coach encourages us to add daily immersion at home. Whether it’s having Italian radio or TV on in the background, listening to YouTube and TedTalks, comprehension will improve. Now we are watching more Italian TV programs without subtitles. Our current favorites are Alessandro Borghese’s – 4 Ristoranti and Bruno Barbieri’s – 4 hotel. Doesn’t mean I understand all the words as they speedily talk along, but I understand the gist of what is being said. Loads of fun and I encourage you to watch if you enjoy beautiful places to stay and food porn!

• 

• 

Also, we can happily say we can now meet again with my entire family of cousins, living 40 minutes from us. What a blessing! I had so missed them all. We had a recent meal together, something we had not been able to do for over a 1 1/2 years! It was wonderful to catch up with everyone and my language skills got a good workout. True that some of my younger cousins do speak some English and they wanted to practice their language skills, but most of the day was in Italian. Sure I stumble a lot but with more and more practice it will start to improve. I most likely will never become fluent at my age, but will be able to contribute to the conversation. All of this ties me closer to my family.

So what does all of this have to do with “Build A Tribe”?

For those of you thinking of moving to rural Italy, and in my limited experience, to Abruzzo, you may need to have a tribe. Family is paramount in the hill towns where ancestors defended their lands that surrounded these strongholds. The Italian language had not emerged nationally yet and the inhabitants of these lofty towns developed their own, as still heard today in the dialects of each individual town. Family names became tied to these individual locations and their descendants are still prominent in certain towns. It is true that many of the younger folks have left these rural towns for the larger cities along the Adriatic coast, but the ties to family are strong and gatherings bring everyone together once again.

If you move to one of these stunning and very friendly towns, you will be welcomed with open arms. The inhabitants go to great lengths to reach out to you as you settle in, inviting you to a lunch or coffee. They will stop by from time to time to check in on you and there is always a friendly wave or honk if they pass you along the street or in town. The people of Abruzzo are just wonderfully friendly people.

What you will find, though, if you Italian is limited or if they only speak a dialect, your conversation will inevitably hit a wall at some point. If you can build your language skills quickly, depending on your age or gift for languages, you will not be stuck at this wall for long. But you will find that a tribe of like speakers (in our case, English) may be necessary for you to develop a social group in your area. You may have to go to other towns to find a like speaker depending on the expat residents in your village. And just because you speak the same language, you may find that you don’t share similar interests and it is hard to include them in your tribe. It takes a bit of effort to build your tribe.

So to reconnect and add joy to my life, I’m building a tribe of English and Italian speaking friends. It doesn’t have to be a large tribe, but one that gives meaning to my day, my existence here in Italy. And truth be told, much of my tribe are animal or outdoor lovers, active and love to hike or walk. And it’s important to keep your connection to friends in your original homeland. I not only video chat with my daughter, but catch up with work and my close friends from my tribes there… all important to my well being and happiness.

You may find that local families are very tight and there may be some exclusion to you being invited to family events, unless you are directly related or have been close friends for years. These events are for the family and we get that now. Think of the clans, groups of related people protecting and fighting for their loved ones. We saw it in the mountains of Virginia, where we both lived for a number of years. So come prepared to accept this, especially if you are choosing to live in rural Abruzzo. Build that tribe!

I have to say that I am one of the lucky ones. I found some of my clan (now a part of my tribe)… my mother’s family. You also may have your clan here in Italy waiting for you. But whether or not you do, take it slowly, build your network of close friends both in your native language and locals, and enjoy this walk that you have begun in this amazing country.

My home tribe