Category Family

An unexpected gift

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Spoiler Alert: for cat lovers

Sometimes the unexpected happens that you’re not sure it is meant for you. That was the case for John and I when we found ourselves with two more cats. Kittens actually. Very young ones.

When you visit Italy, you’ll find big cities and little villages and all in between with town cats. Many cats are domesticated, living with a family, but wandering the streets and countryside are feral to semi-tame cats, in abundance.

Yes, we feed these local cats

Italians love cats so much that there are laws to protect feral cat colonies. Cats can freely roam wherever they want – even in famous historic landmarks. Anyone who harms a cat in Italy can be charged with a crime. Cats can also live wherever they like – and must be fed. They cannot be relocated. Local Italian authorities are responsible for neutering local street cat colonies. Reference

Of course, this doesn’t mean that everyone is a cat lover here in Italy or even an animal lover. You will find, just as in other countries and even the USA, that animals that have been domesticated don’t necessarily be treated with kindness or consideration. But thankfully, there are laws in place, veterinarians and animal refugios worked to make a difference, and public awareness for animal rights is becoming more widespread.

You may know that we have two adult inside cats; Pierre & Sofie. Two were plenty for us and they have enjoyed having our house as their domain. Little did we know that this would all change for all of us in May of this past spring. There was a knocking on our front door, one day, by our neighbor, Federica, calling out that there were two gattini (kittens) outside on the street! Rushing out, I found two tiny babies on the doorstep just down from our house. Barely eyes opened, frightened, cold, hungry and momma not in sight. We knew that a local stray momma, that we had been feeding, had babies, but a wandering dog had attacked the babies and her. She had been hurting but healing but the babies missing, presumed dead. A very sad situation. But it turned out that two babies of the four had survived as she had moved them to a new location under a house down the street. To make the whole situation even worse, their crying at this location was heard by the homeowner, he removed the kittens from under his house and placed on his front door step. Still no momma arriving. (Sad side note about their momma – she was seriously injured by a roaming dog and had to be euthanized.) So, we brought the kittens into our home, had our local town vet, Dr. Silva, help us get them started on bottle feeding and they stole our hearts completely. We can’t thank Dr. Silva enough for her selfless care of our kittens in those early days. She is a part of a clinic about 30 minutes from our house and would stop in before, after work or on her days off. It really got the boys on a healthy path from day one with us. Addition to our family ; Max and Oscar.

As they were about 3 weeks old, the time and care involved making certain that they survived and grew to be healthy cats, took a lot of our day, but so worth every minute. We had to make sure that they were warm, bottle fed, loved as well as contained when not under our watchful eyes. When they first came to our house, we contained them in our shower with a heater set outside of it. Inside their bed, we had heated rice-filled socks to give them extra warmth and to be a substitute for their momma. In a few days we were able to move them to this playpen that we purchased online from Amazon. We moved them upstairs nearer to us with the heater, which eventually wasn’t needed. Inside the pen was a fuzzy bed, small litter box (which they figured out immediately when in the shower), a few toys and a bowl of water. When it was time to bottle feed them, we would let them roam and play in a small area that we supervised. But in the meantime, this playpen was a lifesaver for us all up until they outgrew it around 8 weeks old.

Their playpen. During the day, on top of our bed. At night, in our TV room. A perfect solution for all of us.

The kittens progressed well and we headed them off to our wonderful vet at Clinica Veterinaria Dell’adriatico, Dr. Monica Besca, for their deworming and eventually a round of vaccinations. This clinic along with Dr. Monica, Dr. Marco and others have been seeing all our pets for the last 6 years or so. Not only are they highly skilled professionals with an amazing relationship with all the animals they care for, but are well loved and respected. They are a Godsent.

As the summer went by, the kittens enjoyed lots of exercise throughout our house, got to meet up with our two adult cats, and grew into adorable lovebugs. We became their mom and dad at the start and to this day, they seek us out for love and comfort, warmth and of course food. Were we stressed at all raising 2 kittens from 3 weeks old? Absolutely! This being our first time as kitten parents was a bit daunting but with help from friends, our vets, Google and just instinct from having animals our entire adult lives, we were able to bring these two scared and hungry babies along to 6 months now. Whew!

Pierre and Sofie enjoying the view from our terrace.

Even though we keep our cats inside, we do offer them a large cage (catio) on our terrace. The adult cats have enjoyed that outside space when weather permitting. We hope to introduce the kittens to a new catio that John is building outside our kitchen door from the original catio that he dismantled from our terrace. (We have other plans for our terrace, such as to use by humans only.) I will keep you posted at a later date as this project is completed.

At this point the kittens had turned 6 months the beginning of November, so off they went to be neutered. Oscar’s procedure went off (literally) without a hitch. Max only had one visible testicle, so a small exploratory incision had to be made. The second one was not evident so we will watch his behavior of the next few months to see if there is an indication of that missing one. If so, he will return to have it removed. Now, Max is the instigator of the two kittens, with a hellbent disposition. He had to wear this custom made (by me) t-shirt so he wouldn’t lick his incision. We called him ‘Rambo’ for the week. Thankfully, it is off now and all is well. (You will notice Sofie babysitting in the lower image of Max.)

So how are Pierre and Sofie adjusting to the kittens. At this point in time, Pierre isn’t hissing as much and is actually sleeping nearby the boys at night on our bed. Sofie has adopted them and loves to be in their company playing or sleeping. It can get crazy at times having four cats in our townhouse, but everyone gets plenty of exercise and downtime when they need it. John and I adore these new boys, immediately capturing our hearts. They are our unexpected gift. We are so very thankful.

In vacanza

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The year of trips

Post-Covid, everyone seems to be on vacation this past year. And the local towns here in Abruzzo had filled their August schedules with so many events. Just in our little town, the streets were packed and alive. But let me back up a bit to April when we went on our first vacation/visit back to the US in 6 years.

We had planned a few times to visit family and friends in the US, but little did we know, as everyone else, what Covid was about. We had a trip planned for the Spring of 2020, which we had to cancel, thinking in a few months, when Covid is ‘gone’, we could reschedule. Fast forward 2 years and we got closer to making real plans. This past spring, we finally got back to the United States to see our daughters, grandbabies and some dear friends. It was a whirlwind 10 days so we packed as much as we could into those few days.

It was the first time for us flying out of Naples airport and it was a good decision. Only a 2-hour drive from our house, connecting flight out of Frankfurt, Germany and on to Dulles. Once on the ground in Washington, DC, and with our rental car (after a few hiccups), we headed out on US495 around the city. At that moment, the funniest thought came to me that the traffic on the US highway felt tame. I was actually able to relax. That’s what happens after living 6 years amongst the Italian drivers. lol After we checked in to our B&B in Havre di Grace, MD, we met up with John’s daughter, Jennifer, and family. Finally meeting our new granddaughter, now a year old, was a beautiful moment. Her brother, Zac, hadn’t seen us for 6 years and was a bit shy at first, but he warmed up fast and we heard all kinds of fun stories. We relaxed along the waterside of Havre di Grace as well as had some fun time at the local zoo. Unfortunately, after a few days (way too short) visit, we had to say our goodbyes for now. We’re hoping that they will someday make the trip to visit us in Italy. What an amazing experience that would be for everyone…

Our next stop was to see my daughter, Brooke, who lives on her birth farm in rural Virginia, halfway between Williamsburg and Richmond. The farm overlooks the Chickahominy River in Charles City County, where the bulk of the farming in that area is in corn, soybeans and winter wheat. Brooke divides her time between Williamsburg, Charles City and Mount Vernon (birthplace of George Washington), contracted as a historic gown maker. We checked in to the Peace Hill B&B just across the road from her farm, which has upped their game from a local farm specializing in eggs and field crops to a gorgeous hospitality venue set in the peaceful countryside.

Peace Hill B&B, Holdcroft, VA

Our time was filled with a visit to Williamsburg to meet up with my dear college friend, Michele, and her lovely daughter, Kate, as well as touring around Colonial Williamsburg and the campus of the College of William and Mary with Brooke. Both Brooke and I are alumni, so it was fun seeing what hasn’t changed on campus since our times there as well as all the new and exciting construction. Definitely a nostalgic time.

Continuing our time with Brooke, we all headed up to Richmond, met up with Brooke’s partner, David, to enjoy a few days in the capital. We explored Ginter Botantical Gardens, so I could get my flowers and plant fix. Such a gorgeous place, complete with water features and orchid greenhouse. We also had some time to visit the historic Church Hill district of Richmond, where the famous ‘Give me Liberty or Give me Death’ speech by Patrick Henry took place at St. John’s Church.

A very important part of the trip for me was to attend K9 Search & Rescue Dogs’ 30th reunion! How wonderful to see many of the original members from the early ’90smy, my former teammates, and the dogs..of course! We had time to watch the teams train, reconnect and enjoy a delicious meal together. Realistically, this may be my last time in this group setting and I will hold that time dear to my heart. Thankfully, I still can chat with my good friends online and ‘follow’ them as they train their dogs and head out to searches.

We finished up our trip to Virginia with a visit to John’s mom, now residing in Charlottesville, VA. She just celebrated her 98th birthday and still going strong. It was definitely a bittersweet visit with her. Many of you, that consider moving to Italy or anywhere else far from home, may struggle with the difficulties of leaving family behind. Trust me, that struggle is real in our lives, even after 6 years of living in Abruzzo. But I am reminded what my daughter told me as we were thinking over our decision to make the ‘big move’… she said, “Mom, go live your dream”. We are definitely living the dream and we are both so very grateful to our family for understanding and supporting us.

It was a jammed-packed vacation to see family and friends. How we wish we could transport everyone to Italy to visit us someday!

Our next vacation this year, was a surprise trip for John’s 70 birthday. He was born in July and I knew it would be a hot and busy vacation as I planned for it. We’ve both wanted to see Venice and it just never had happened. So, I bit the proverbial bullet. Venice in July.. shoot me now.. but truly we figured how to make it work and only had maybe 4 or 5 hours in the 5-day trip when we were stuck in the masses of tourists. I picked a charming hotel in a quiet neighborhood, where we could have some downtown away from the heat and crowds and we spent many hours walking the out-of-the way places, much to our delight.

We wandered through different neighborhoods, crossing numerous canals, visiting many of the stunning cathedrals the hordes of tourists miss. Ate amazing seafood, enjoyed the AC in our hotel during siesta time, as it was a very hot week (40C), took boat rides to the islands, and yes, ate gelato! We knew we wanted to see San Marco’s piazza and basilica and make the 15-minute walk over to that area. Absolute craziness in regard to the number of people, and even though we had skip-the-line tickets, the basilica was packed to the gills. We were basically pushed along by the masses. Afterwards, we headed back to our quiet neighborhood to decompress. We had the opportunity through our hotel to take a ‘free’ boat ride out to the ‘glass’ island of Murano. I was concerned that we would be high pressured into buying the high-priced handblown glass (way out of our budget) but it was handled with class. We also visited the colorful island of Burano and had a lovely lunch.

Venice is an amazing place, that most of us dream about, but it is also a real city filled with residents. Going during the busy summer months and experiencing the rudeness of the tourists gave us a glimpse of the difficulties the residents of Venice live with on a daily basis. It only made us want to be more mindful of our behavior as well. We will definitely return during a fall or spring season!

We had one more vacation, a cammino, which we did in September. I’ll hold off until next post to describe that trip in the northern Italian region of Lombardy. Yes, it was a busy year for traveling; definitely post-Covid ‘let’s get out and about’! We’re sticking around Abruzzo for the winter, but have some plans for a few trips in 2024, all Italy-based.

In the meantime, we’re counting a few more days for my daughter, Brooke, to arrive here in Tufillo for a visit. She is currently attending a fabric workshop in London, then makes her way over to us. I’ll give you some highlights later this month…

Brooke in London

Thank you for visiting here at ‘Navigating Life in Abruzzo’ and we hope that you get a chance to visit our green region of Abruzzo someday soon. Wishing you a blessed holiday season!

A Gift…finding Tufillo…and Giacomo

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As I write to you today, I am sitting in the summer kitchen of our soon-to-be new home in the medieval village of Tufillo. John and Giacomo are on the upper level finishing some plastering and tomorrow they will continue on the tiling. How did we get from putting our house on the market in May to this point? We have found a house… but not just any house. We found Giacomo’s house.

Giacomo’s house

When I last posted, we had just listed our home in Roccaspinalveti . This was early May and we figured that maybe by mid July or so we would have some interest with serious buyers arriving in Abruzzo for the summer months. We completed our upgrade projects and our curb appeal was at its all-time high, with many of our flowers blooming, especially my roses. John finished painting the house and it glowed. We even buried a statue of St. Joseph in our front yard ;-). We were ready and Abruzzo Rural Property handled the rest. Who would have thought that within two weeks of listing, we would have an offer, and by early June a signed contract.

Our contract gave us a few months leeway to get packed to move… but we needed to find our new home. We knew that we wanted to be closer to my cousins in San Salvo, so we checked out some towns closer to the sea. They appeared too crowded for us with the summer influx of second homeowners and tourists. Also the summer temperatures ran hot and humid. We decided to stay in the mountains but still within 20 minutes of the beach. After visiting a number of different villages, we kept coming back to Tufillo, a small medieval village with so much character and the nicest folks! This town is at the edge of Abruzzo with Molise (the next region south of us) just across the Trigno River. It’s situated on the spine of a ridge, and just a few minutes out of town, there are lots of hiking trails and country roads to be discovered.

Tufillo is a lovely small village inhabited by such big hearted people with a characteristic historic center dating back to the 13th century. The narrow street through the medieval center just captured our hearts, with many stone houses and palaces along the way. The town boasts plenty of amenities; bakery, bar, pharmacy, post office, museum, grocery store, goat cheese maker, library, churches, doctors’ office, weekly market and travelling vendors. I am sure that we will discover more once we are there full-time.

So how did we find this gem of a house? I did the regular route of online sites of a few realtors as well as sites with listings by owners. We viewed a couple of prospective homes in Tufillo but they didn’t meet our criteria. We wanted the size to be about 1/2 of what we had in Rocca, move-in ready, a small garden would be nice, but most of all we wanted a view. I contacted the comune office in Tufillo and was put in contact with the deputy mayor. He was extremely helpful, giving me leads on other houses for sale by owners and answering all my questions. That is how we found Giacomo’s house. And Giacomo. And Giacomo’s family.. a triple blessing.

The house has been a restoration project that reflects the artistic talents and expertise of Giacomo Ottaviano (owner/contractor), but upmost the work is from his heart. And Giacomo has to be one of the nicest men we are blessed to call friend. Patient, understanding, meticulous artist who works his free weekends to finish this house for us, while working very hard at his full-time contractor job. This stone house belonged to his grandmother and he took ownership 10+ years ago. Its exact age of the structure is unknown, due to missing records, but an estimate puts it at 250-300 years old. Giacomo has restored the exterior stonework to its stunning original beauty, with some added modern touches. The inside is all modern, with new utilities and lots of marble and porcelain tiling. John and Giacomo are working diligently to finish all the tiling so we can move in early September. And always, kudos to my husband for his talents. He and Giacomo make a good team. And during all of this, Giacomo’s parents have opened their house and their arms to us, providing lunches for the men hard at work, as well as just some wonderful Sunday lunches for us all to relax, chat and build new friendships.

Leaving Roccaspinalveti isn’t an easy decision, but the pull of family and the sea are calling us. Over the past few years, we came to the realization that we were slowing down…just a little.. and to have a smaller home to care for was in our more immediate future. And as our older cousins are unable to travel to Rocca in their advancing years, it just made good sense for us to cut the drive time so we could visit them more often. We will miss the many wonderful folks of Rocca, but it is not a long drive back to visit. And I am certain we will also return to hike some of the mountain trails.

So we are preparing for this new adventure in Tufillo. It will be a ‘small’ adjustment as I haven’t lived without a garden and some land around me in almost 50 years, but I’m ready. I’ll bring many of my potted plants and flowers and I have lots of trails, fields and woods to hike in just a step away from the house. Our cats, Pierre and Sofie, will have few levels to run up and down as well as a new cat enclosure for the terrace. And once we get settled, travel is definitely in the works. We are already planning a 6 day cammino in Puglia this fall. So the packing of remaining household items continues. The movers will arrive at the end of this month to take our larger pieces of furniture…Oh.. and if you’re wondering, we are taking the statue of St. Joseph to our new house. 😉

Until next time, thank you always for stopping here at my blog to catch up on our adventures…hope you are having a great summer! Look…I got my view 🙂

The view from our new terrace – Region of Molise to left of Trigno River, mountains looking West towards the villages of Torrebruna and Celenza sul Trigno.

Build A Tribe

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A tribe is a group of people, or a community with similar values or interests, a group with a common ancestor, or a common leader.

K9 Alert SAR Dogs 2015,.. A tribe of mine for many years in the United States

A clan is a group of people of common descent; family.


My father’s family, Giordano, mid 1900’s Brooklyn

During this scorching, record-breaking, hot, dry summer, we simmered under our ceiling fans day and night. Any thoughts of writing a post for this blog were clouded by the mind-fogging weather. Finally we got a break with cooler Fall temperatures arriving. We are functioning again.

With the isolation from both the earlier COVID restrictions and just surviving this latest heat wave (of three months), I had plenty of time to reflect. What I came to realize is that I don’t like being cut off from humanity, even though I do enjoy my solitary walks. I’m sure most people felt the same about isolation. But now that we are able to go out and be with friends and family, I found that I was experiencing a huge disconnect with my Italian friends with my rusty language skills. That’s all changing now, as as I meet up with my Italian speaking friends, whether we’re out hiking or meeting at one of our local bars. But what is more important than learning the language is that I am feeling part of the human race once more!

During this summer, I continued my studies with Italy Made Easy Academy online lessons. Manu, the teaching coach encourages us to add daily immersion at home. Whether it’s having Italian radio or TV on in the background, listening to YouTube and TedTalks, comprehension will improve. Now we are watching more Italian TV programs without subtitles. Our current favorites are Alessandro Borghese’s – 4 Ristoranti and Bruno Barbieri’s – 4 hotel. Doesn’t mean I understand all the words as they speedily talk along, but I understand the gist of what is being said. Loads of fun and I encourage you to watch if you enjoy beautiful places to stay and food porn!

  • Valle del Treste Inauguration Hike, Rocca Vecchia
  • Once again hiking with local groups!

Also, we can happily say we can now meet again with my entire family of cousins, living 40 minutes from us. What a blessing! I had so missed them all. We had a recent meal together, something we had not been able to do for over a 1 1/2 years! It was wonderful to catch up with everyone and my language skills got a good workout. True that some of my younger cousins do speak some English and they wanted to practice their language skills, but most of the day was in Italian. Sure I stumble a lot but with more and more practice it will start to improve. I most likely will never become fluent at my age, but will be able to contribute to the conversation. All of this ties me closer to my family.

My Cousins!

So what does all of this have to do with “Build A Tribe”?

For those of you thinking of moving to rural Italy, and in my limited experience, to Abruzzo, you may need to have a tribe. Family is paramount in the hill towns where ancestors defended their lands that surrounded these strongholds. The Italian language had not emerged nationally yet and the inhabitants of these lofty towns developed their own, as still heard today in the dialects of each individual town. Family names became tied to these individual locations and their descendants are still prominent in certain towns. It is true that many of the younger folks have left these rural towns for the larger cities along the Adriatic coast, but the ties to family are strong and gatherings bring everyone together once again.

If you move to one of these stunning and very friendly towns, you will be welcomed with open arms. The inhabitants go to great lengths to reach out to you as you settle in, inviting you to a lunch or coffee. They will stop by from time to time to check in on you and there is always a friendly wave or honk if they pass you along the street or in town. The people of Abruzzo are just wonderfully friendly people.

What you will find, though, if you Italian is limited or if they only speak a dialect, your conversation will inevitably hit a wall at some point. If you can build your language skills quickly, depending on your age or gift for languages, you will not be stuck at this wall for long. But you will find that a tribe of like speakers (in our case, English) may be necessary for you to develop a social group in your area. You may have to go to other towns to find a like speaker depending on the expat residents in your village. And just because you speak the same language, you may find that you don’t share similar interests and it is hard to include them in your tribe. It takes a bit of effort to build your tribe.

So to reconnect and add joy to my life, I’m building a tribe of English and Italian speaking friends. It doesn’t have to be a large tribe, but one that gives meaning to my day, my existence here in Italy. And truth be told, much of my tribe are animal or outdoor lovers, active and love to hike or walk. And it’s important to keep your connection to friends in your original homeland. I not only video chat with my daughter, but catch up with work and my close friends from my tribes there… all important to my well being and happiness.

You may find that local families are very tight and there may be some exclusion to you being invited to family events, unless you are directly related or have been close friends for years. These events are for the family and we get that now. Think of the clans, groups of related people protecting and fighting for their loved ones. We saw it in the mountains of Virginia, where we both lived for a number of years. So come prepared to accept this, especially if you are choosing to live in rural Abruzzo. Build that tribe!

I have to say that I am one of the lucky ones. I found some of my clan (now a part of my tribe)… my mother’s family. You also may have your clan here in Italy waiting for you. But whether or not you do, take it slowly, build your network of close friends both in your native language and locals, and enjoy this walk that you have begun in this amazing country.

My home tribe

Mi Chiamo Helene Rosalie Jordan

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In January 2021, the project called “Terra delle Radici‘ (the Land of Roots) was presented to the public with the aim of organizing and promoting tourism in the Alto Vastese area. I was approached by Alessio Massari (mountain guide, environmentalist and good friend) to write a testimonial telling my story of rediscovering my Italian roots, from New York to Roccaspinalveti via San Salvo. Below is that story. You can also find my story at this link in both Italian and English. I encourage you to browse the various pages of this site to better understand the objective of the project, which involves the Alto Vastese and Valle del Trigno Study Center (altovastese.it). The communities involved in this project include: Carunchio, Castelguidone, Castiglione Messer Marino, Celenza sul Trigno, Fraine, Montazzoli, Municipality of Roccaspinalveti, Schiavi Di Abruzzo, Torrebruna, as well as the Proloco San Giovanni Lipioni. The project will continue to grow and I am excited to see what it will bring to our area and also how we might all contribute.

My name is Helene Rosalie Jordan. You could not tell that I am Italian by heritage with such a name, except possibly for the “Rosalie”.  I am 100% Italian, Italian/American that is, with dual citizenship with the United States and Italy. It was my pride of being an Italian and the love of Italy that spurred me on to apply for recognition as an Italian citizen by blood (Jus Sanguinis). But first let me back up a bit and give you some history of my family. My mom and dad were both born in Brooklyn, New York in the early 1900’s. My father’s family was from Naples (Giordano Americanized to Jordan) and my mother’s family was from Abruzzo. In fact, my mother’s father, Carlo De Felice, was born in San Salvo, only 40 minutes from where I live now in Italy.  He emigrated from Italy in 1910 on a ship leaving the port of Naples, arriving at Ellis Island, New York. My mother always told me the story that he came over by himself at the age of 13, but I found out later that his entire immediate family came over with him when he was 17 years old. I did not pay a lot of attention to the conversations when I was young, as Grandpa would speak in dialect and Mom would answer him in the same.  If either my sister or I were nearby, she would answer him in English. As children, we were not allowed to learn or speak Italian. We were Americans!  I missed all the amazing stories Grandpa Carlo had to share, and now it is too late, sadly to say.

I can remember fondly all the daylong meals the entire family would have, whether in New Jersey, where I was born and raised, or in Brooklyn, NY. Family was everything and my mom had 4 siblings, although my dad was an only child. Still, we all gathered most weekends to enjoy the cooking competitions between the siblings. How I miss those times, as we all grew older, moved further apart, and our grandfathers and grandmothers passed away.

During my adult years, a desire to visit my family’s homeland grew stronger. The times I mentioned this to my mother, she would discount the notion, saying that Italy was dirty and poor, even though she had never visited it herself. I believe now that she said this as it was engrained in her to not look back at the ‘old country’ but to embrace America. But this did not dissuade me, so my husband and I made our first trip in 2011. We were determined to visit the quieter towns to truly experience ‘Italy’, and not the regular tourist stops.  It all started with a trip to the medieval village of Scanno in the mountains of Abruzzo. We were enchanted. We continued our vacation to other parts of Abruzzo, Marche, and Tuscany. We added a few more visits to other regions over the past years, but we always made time to visit a small village for a few days in Abruzzo. At some point during those years, I found out that I could apply for my Italian citizenship. That got us thinking that we would like to live in Italy a few months out of the year after we retired. It was my husband, John, who came to me with the proposal that we should seriously consider moving to Italy full-time. I was extremely nervous as how could I leave our adult children and elderly mothers behind in the USA. Did I really want to leave my friends and the mountains of Virginia for a foreign country? My daughter solved the problem by saying to me ‘Mom, go live your dream”. The decision was made. After my dual citizenship was recognized, with Italian passport in hand, selling most of our belongings and loading our two huge dogs on a plane, we headed to Abruzzo to start our lives in Italy.

Receiving my Italian birth certificate in San Salvo

We first rented a farmhouse in a small town about 15 minutes from the Adriatic Sea just north of Pescara. We became accustomed to living a new life as we looked for a house to buy in Abruzzo. Finally, after a year renting, we purchased our home in Roccaspinalveti located in the Frentani Mountains of Abruzzo. It was a perfect match for us. The weather, rural setting, friendly folks, and the mountains reminded us of our home in Virginia, but of course, we were in Italy. The views are always captivating and beautiful, the food amazing, the people of the villages friendly and helpful, and every day we are so thankful to be here. We know we are truly home.

Roccaspinalveti

Both John and I worked in the hospitality industry when we lived in the United States. John had been a professional chef for many years, and I worked in customer service and hospitality at a whisky distillery. Since the house we purchased has two apartments, with us living upstairs, we turned the lower apartment into Casa Serre Holiday Apartment. We invite guests from all over the world to visit us to experience Roccaspinalveti and the surrounding region. This successful venture not only gives us some additional income but allows us to share the love we have for this region with others.  Here there is so much beauty with the surrounding mountains and hilltop villages, local artists and artisans, welcoming citizens, and pristine beaches a short drive away. As John and I are avid trekkers and hikers, we share our excursions with others in the hope that they also will experience the amazing natural gifts of the area.

As we settled into life in Roccaspinalveti, I decided to reach out to find if I had any living relatives in Abruzzo. Since my grandfather, Carlo De Felice, had lived in San Salvo, a nearby city on the Adriatic Sea, I hoped that a few relatives remained in the area. But I would need some help to do this. There are several companies here in Italy that will help you locate your relatives. I chose ‘Touring Abruzzo’ and with the wonderful help of Luciana and Alberto, the De Felice tree was fleshed out all the way back to the early 1800s. And Alberto located a few of my cousins alive and well in San Salvo! The next step was a bit precarious and sensitive. How do I approach my living relatives in a manner that was not threatening and once I explained how I was related, would they be interested in getting to know me?

‘Touring Abruzzo’ was able to give me a contact name and number of one of my cousins (more like a fifth cousin). When I finally reached him by phone, he was very hesitant for me to meet his grandfather Michele De Felice, my third cousin who is in his late 80s. The sad outcome of the phone call was that a meeting was not immediately arranged. I did not know what to do next. Do I enlist an Italian friend to come with me to interpret or just take the chance on my own? In the meantime, I located the home where my grandfather Carlo and his brothers and sisters grew up in, located in the historic district of San Salvo. It was a very emotional day, as this helped to solidify the reality of my mother’s family here in Abruzzo.

Carlo De Felice’s home, San Salvo

What next ensued was serendipitous and I honestly believe I was pointed in the right direction at the right time. John and I decided to stroll past my cousin Michele’s house in the historic district of San Salvo. Being unsure of what we might accomplish, we had to try. As we sat across from Michele’s house, two ladies approached the front door and knocked. While they were standing there, I mustered up some nerve and asked them if they knew Michele. They said they did and that they were his daughters! Unbelievable! I was looking at two of my cousins. A dream realized. I believed both Angela and Paola were equally as excited. Paola located her dad, and we had a few wondrous minutes chatting away. Unfortunately, another appointment in town pulled us away, as we left with promises of being reunited soon.

Meeting my cousins for the first time!

While I waited to hear back from my cousins, I worked on our family tree. I wanted to bring this, along with some of my family pictures, to our next visit. I used all the information that Alberto collected along with Familysearch.org, Ancestry.co, Ancestry.it, and antenati.san.beniculturali.it for my research. As the tree grew in unbelievable proportions, I cut and taped until I had both De Felice lines spread out to show Michele. I felt I had to substantiate my claim as a De Felice. Not that they asked to see this, but I just felt it was a reassuring measure for them to see the actual family connection. You may gather that I was excited when Angela set a date for coffee at her father’s house. It was a grand gathering with six of my cousins! How amazing is that! We talked about the family, compared pictures, saw strong family resemblances between our ancestors and enjoyed coffee and sweets.

There is so much more work I want to do on my family tree, but mostly I just want to enjoy being a part of my Italian family. We are all looking forward to being together over a meal or coffee again soon, both here in Roccaspinalveti as well as in San Salvo. No, I have not forgotten my father’s side of that family. The information that I got from my father, was that they were from Naples. I have a lot of researching to do on the Giordano family and hope to start on that soon. And during this search for my family, John received his Italian citizenship by being married to me (“Jure Matrimonii“). We both have fully embraced our lives here.

I encourage anyone seeking their Italian relatives to gather all information needed and not give up. I almost backed out of trying to reach out to them. Would they genuinely want to know me, to take the time even though my understanding of the Italian language is still somewhat basic? Why would a distant cousin, such as I, be important to them? We are family… we are blood… we are Italian together. It does make a difference, so do not give up on your dream. 

  • My grandfather, Carlo De Felice, and his wife, my grandmother Maria Laura Paciello, Brooklyn, NY
  • De Felice Family Business, Blacksmiths, San Salvo
  • Filippo De Felice, father to Michele De Felice, San Salvo
  • Michele De Felice & Adalgisa Maccarone on their wedding day, San Salvo
  • Raffaele De Felice, 1st cousin to my grandfather, Carlo, and grandfather to Michele, San Salvo
  • My mother, Helen Mary De Felice, Brooklyn, NY

Time Stands Still

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How do I even start this post? Such a mix of thoughts and feelings….We are safe at the moment and healthy. We thank so many friends from the US and elsewhere who have reached out to us, sending prayers, positive thoughts and messages. And it is our fervent prayer that you are all safe and healthy as well.

But if not only safe and healthy, what will become of us during this time? We are not on the front-lines, as so many are; medical staff, volunteers, police, and more, pouring out their dedication and risking their lives every day to save others. The numbers of cases are real here in Italy. No matter what others may wish to discount for whatever reason, most of what you have been reading on the internet about these tragic times here are real. I would like to share our personal experiences during this sad, tragic but reflective time.

For John and I, living in our very quiet village here in the Frentani Mountains of southern Abruzzo… central Italy, we do not have firsthand experience with the human life tragedy that has been unfolding in the northern part of our country. We track the news and escalating numbers of positive cases and deaths through government and news sites. There are many cases in our region and one case has been documented here in Roccaspinalveti. Hopefully that person is on the mend and his family is also well. But mostly, we are only directly affected by the quarantine decrees and the unsettling feeling that we, too, will have neighbors, friends and ourselves physically affected by the virus.

So, what are we actually doing and what is required of us. It is the same throughout Italy now and we all must follow these decrees. Self-isolation is the only way to get the numbers down. The decrees do get updated frequently as this world event is shifting. Right now, we are all home isolated. We stay at our home and property unless we need groceries, medical attention or prescriptions. Only one person per family may drive up to town center to buy necessities. The shops here are very small, so for most, it’s just one person in the shop at a time and the rest must queue outside. Leaving the municipality of Rocca requires pretty much an emergency.

Gloves and masks are the norm for everyone in town and we must stand at least one meter from the other person. Even when the neighborhood vendors make their stops, everyone should be wearing gloves and masks… hopefully.

For me personally, it’s not a difficult stretch to stay at home…..except for my daily hike or trek. (Believe me, I’m going nuts without them.) I’m somewhat of a loner, though living here in gregarious Italy has helped me come out of the ‘woods’ so to speak. I actually have some friends that aren’t dog people. Pre-virus, you would find me most days, taking a trek around the area or a hike up a mountain, sometimes with John or a friend, but mostly by myself. It has always been a way for me to center my self, flush out any toxic thoughts and reset myself. Otherwise I’m at home. Well, not exactly. We do like to sight-see and we love to eat out, especially at our favorite local trattoria, but sadly all restaurants and bars are closed with the restrictions and drives around on hold.

So now we’re in ‘virus time’…. I’m a voracious reader since childhood. Gosh, is my life all about escapism? 😉 So I read a few books at the same time, juggling true or fictional crime with some lighter fare. Since I grew up in an Italian-American family with the nap tradition firmly in place, it was an easy transition to life here. And now that we have a lot of ‘down time’, naps are a shoo-in…. right after lunch. And you can be certain that Romeo reminds me that it is time…

No walks are allowed except just a few hundred meters and back to your house. Only if your health absolutely requires it. I guess I could make a plea for mental health, but really??? So thankfully, we have a large yard, good size fenced courtyard and outside steps! Yes, steps… I run up and down them a few times a week to get the endorphins pumping. It helps.

Romeo and I will head out to the backyard for some playtime and again, some time to clear the head and get some much-needed Vitamin D. With most people obeying the self-isolation restrictions, the wild animals are starting to emerge from their cover and enter more urban areas. I did see a wild boar in broad daylight in our olive grove a few weeks back and then just this morning! Normally, they are nocturnal in our area. And my friend up the road saw a wolf traipsing down the street …. again broad daylight.

Romeo loving the snow.. of course.. he’s a Labrador

John has been working on some ‘honey-do’ projects around the house, as well as splitting firewood for our kitchen fireplace. He also has been cooking some delicious dishes, but I only indulge on the weekends. 😉 Are we getting on each other nerves? You bet!! Normal.. I would think for many couples. So we take a timeout from each other and find a quiet place inside or outside to decompress. Thankfully, Romeo doesn’t like a lot of drama in the house, so we try to behave because of him.

Can you smell the toast cooking in butter?

Am I scared or worried? Of course. I worry for myself, John, family and friends. But then I have to remind myself that worry is useless. It can change nothing. All we can do is following the regulations, enjoy some home-centered activities, take supplements, eat healthy, exercise, video chat with family and friends and pray a lot.

A friend of mine from the UK came over to her holiday home here in Rocca, just before the lockdown. Little did she know that she would not be returning home anytime soon. Her husband had to work and couldn’t take the ‘vacation’ with her. She is alone in her home here, unable to visit anyone. Tough times but she is making the best of it.

We were supposed to visit the US to see family and friends. Obviously, that got postponed. We have no idea if we will be able to get back there anytime soon. Very sad but thankful for video chats… But it is not even close to hugging your daughter in person. We also had a large family meal planned with my cousins in San Salvo. That has been postponed until….? Difficult times, but we are the lucky ones right now. So many families have lost loved ones throughout the country .

We’re trying to stay upbeat, laugh at each other, play outside as being indoors is definitely rough on mind and body, and we make certain Romeo gets exercise each day. And below… John always remains silly… Good for him!

Earlier in this post, I mentioned that it was a reflective time. As hiking is on hold for a while, I find myself at the rear of our home most days. Here there are views that are calming and reassuring. I can push the worries away, pray some and just be infinitely thankful for what John and I have at this moment. Here are a few moments from this morning, pre-dawn after a spring snow. Thank you again for reaching out to us over that past few weeks. It means the world to John and I, and Romeo thanks you as well.

Stay calm, stay home, stay healthy. Enjoy this time with yourselves and with your family. The world will definitely be different when it heals and this all passes. We will most likely be a little different as well. Sending love from Italy… John and Helene

Family Found

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My very first posting for this blog was about Family… how they can form us, steer us, instill drives and directions. For me it was ‘For the Love of Family’, my Italian family still living in Italy. Some unseen force propelling me to locate them and meet them. And if and when I found them, would they really consider me ‘family’?

My grandfather, Carlo De Felice, came over from Abruzzi (as it was called back in the early 1900’s – now Abruzzo since Molise split off in 1963) to live in Brooklyn with his father, mother and siblings. Did Carlo have any uncles, cousins, siblings who remained in Italy and could I find their descendants, my probable cousins? His town of origin, San Salvo is in southern Abruzzo, just 40 minutes from where John and I now live. Was it our plan to have purchased our home so close to my ancestral town? No, it just happened. How crazy is that?

There are a number of companies here in Italy that will help you locate your relatives. I used Touring Abruzzo and with the wonderful help of Luciana and Alberto, the De Felice tree was fleshed out all the way back to the early 1800s. And Alberto located a few of my cousins alive and well in San Salvo! The next step was a bit precarious and sensitive. How do I approach my living relatives in a manner that isn’t threatening and once I ‘prove’ I am related, will they be as interested in getting to know me as I am wishing to know them?

Touring Abruzzo was able to give me a contact name and number. This person would be one of my cousins (more like a fifth cousin). I wouldn’t say he was particularly warm to me just showing up to meet his grandfather, my third cousin who is in his late 80s. We hemmed and hawed back and forth and a meeting died in the wind. I didn’t know what to do next. Do I enlist an Italian friend to come with me to interpret? Just bang on Michele’s door and introduce myself?

My three cousins, Michele, Paola & Angela De Felice, with Michele’s wife, Adalgisa. I was trying my best not to break out crying from happiness and relief. Cousins Found!

What ensued was serendipitous and I truly believe I was pointed in the right direction at the right time. John and I decided to stroll past my cousin’s house in the historic district of San Salvo. Not sure what we would accomplish but we had a few minutes before we needed to be at an appointment with our insurance agent. We located Michele’s apartment and just sat across the way, trying to decide our next step. Two ladies approached the front door and knocked. While they were standing there, I mustered up some nerve and asked them if they knew Michele. They were his daughters! Unbelievable! I was looking at two of my cousins. A dream realized. I believed both Angela and Paola were equally as excited. Paola located her dad and we had a few wondrous minutes chatting away. Unfortunately our appointment pulled us away, but with promises to be reunited soon.

While I waited to hear back from my cousins, I worked on our family tree. I wanted to bring that, along with some of my family pictures, to our next meeting. I used all the information that Alberto collected along with Familysearch.org, Ancestry.com (and Ancestry.it) and antenati.san.beniculturali.it for my research. As the tree grew in unbelievable proportions, I cut and taped until I had both De Felice lines spread out to show Michele. I felt I had to substantiate my claim as a De Felice. Not that they asked to see this, but I just felt it was a reassuring measure for them to see the actual family connection.

  • My six cousins with spouses – a great day!

You may gather that I was excited when Angela set a date for coffee at her father’s house. It was a grand gathering of SIX of my cousins! How amazing is that! We talked about the family, compared pictures, saw strong family resemblances between our ancestors and enjoyed coffee and sweets. I sit here now with emotions choking me up and a huge smile on my face. There is so much more work I want to do on my family tree, but mostly I just want to enjoy being a part of my Italian family. We are all looking forward to being together over a meal or coffee again soon, both here in Roccaspinalveti as well as in San Salvo.

  • Philippo De Felice, Michele’s father
  • Raffaele De Felice, 1st cousin to my grandfather, Carlo
  • My mom, Helen De Felice
  • De Felice Family Business –
    it was one more tie between my side of the family and Michele’s.
  • My grandfather, Carlo De Felice, and grandmother , Laura
  • My mom
  • My mom and her two sisters, Bessie & Margaret
  • Michele and Adalgisa on their wedding day in San Salvo

I encourage anyone seeking their Italian relatives to not give up. I almost backed out of trying to reach out to them. Would they truly want to know me, to take the time even though my understanding of the Italian language is still somewhat basic? Why would a distant cousin, such as I, be important to them? We are family… we are blood… we are Italian together. It does make a difference, so don’t give up on your dream.

No, I haven’t forgotten my father’s side of that family. The information that I got from my mother, was that they were from Naples. That will be another story to share for the future…. ciao for now..